Making Memories
Earlier this week our family received some upsetting news – a close family friend had lost his battle with cancer.
Now this isn’t a sad post because Ray wouldn’t want that at all.
But during his life celebration, something interesting began happening that I think we can all learn from…
Instead of a funeral, Ray wanted his family to rent a hall for a couple hours and allow everyone to have a few drinks on him (which was a classic Ray idea).
So true to his wish, the Antoniolli’s held a life celebration for Ray and people came in droves.
We pulled up about 5 minutes before it was scheduled to start and there were literally hundreds and hundreds of cars. In fact, we couldn’t get a “regular” parking spot as we had join those parking way down the street.
It immediately gave you a sense that Ray obviously had an impact on a lot of people (or they were just coming for the free drinks – but Ray would have wanted that anyway LOL).
Once we got inside, I was blown away by all the people. Hundreds and hundreds of people had come to pay their respects and they kept coming and coming.
In fact, the initial hall filled so quickly that they had to open another pavilion just to accommodate everyone.
Now I could go on and share how Ray was such a great guy and this was the reason everyone came.
Although that’s true, it goes deeper than that.
Let me explain…
As more and more people tried to squeeze into the hall, a number of close friends were given the chance to say a few words (my Dad included).
And as each person began to share a few stories, one thing became blatantly obvious…
Ray was a master at making memories.
Each story has it’s own funny twist but yet everyone there recognized right away that this was another classic Ray Antoniolli story.
He had a unique ability to take an ordinary situation and make it memorable. And it was those memories that everyone cherrished (myself included).
It’s difficult to put into words the kind of person Ray was but what is easy to understand is why there were so many people at his life celebration. All of us in attendance felt a deep bond with him because at some point in time he had created a unique memory with each of us.
And as person after person shared their unique memories, you couldn’t help but smile as their story triggered another memory of your own time with Ray.
It’s those memories that immediately strengthen a bond between two people.
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So what can we all learn from this?
1) Make Memories
It’s one of the most effective ways to connect with people. And if the memory is good, people won’t ever forget it – so make it good!
The plus side for any business is that these people will also likely “share” the memory with others.
For example, last summer Mini (the car company) held a HUGE event for all Mini Cooper owners in the area. Hundreds and hundreds of Mini owners (myself included) drove into downtown Toronto where they played host to an outdoor evening extravaganza.
It was a blast driving down the highway behind hundreds of other Mini owners and then you couldn’t but help have a HUGE smile on your face as we drove into the outdoor complex where the event was being held.
There were outdoor concerts, giveaways and of course the night ended with everyone sitting in their Mini’s to watch the Italian Job on the big screen (the chase screen was the best as we were all honking!).
That’s a GREAT example of a company “making memories”.
…AND…
I just shared it with you (as I have many others) which proves that people like sharing great memories 
Here are a couple pics:
2) Take The “Ordinary” and Make It “Extraordinary”
There was never a “dull” moment when Ray was around and that’s because he consciously made the effort to inject fun into everything he did.
For example, our last get together just a few months ago involved an accordion, playing spoons and many group sing-a-longs. The best part was, everyone was involved (including kids, parents, neighbors and anyone else that wondered in LOL).
He was also known to give people funny nicknames and create silly annual events that people began marking on their calendars every year.
So the next time you are looking to do a “normal” business activity like a teleseminar, live event or contest, take some time to think about how you could make it 10X more fun.
Yanik Silver does a good job of this with his Underground Seminars. Each one always has a unique theme, guest speaker or twist.
You can do the same. Just tap into your creative juices because when people laugh and have a great time, it creates a memory – and it’s those memories that will build a strong bond between you and your customers.
3) Involve Others In Your Shenanigans
I think the best part about everyone sharing their memories of Ray was hearing about all the crazy things everyone did when they were with him.
75% of those people would never normally do anything like that by themselves.
Ray had a unique gift of bringing the best out of people. One young gal shared a story of how she always wanted to go cliff diving but she never had the courage to jump.
Then while up at the Antoniolli’s cottage, Ray took her to the best spot and coached her through it.
In typical Ray style, he said “Jump out as far as you can because if you don’t, you might hit the rocks and your Mum probably won’t like that”.
We all laughed because Ray always had a wicked sense of humor. But the special part of that story is that his encouragement worked and she jumped. She ended her story by saying that after that jump she knew she could conquer anything from that day forward – and that was thanks to Ray.
Isn’t that an incredible gift to give someone?
Sometimes I think people “want” to do different things but they need a little encouragement.
Involve others and get them out of their comfort zone. They’ll thank you for it afterwards – just like we all did with Ray.
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4) Revisit The Memories Often
This was a lesson I learned from leadership expert John Maxwell but I was reminded of it’s power during Ray’s celebration.
Instead of this gathering being sad, it was full of laughter and cheer as we reminensed of the good times with Ray.
Sure we cried.
But they were a different kind of tears.
I think more than anything we were all just so thankful to have had the time we shared with Ray and hearing everyone recount their time with him just reinforced that fact.
When you revisit good memories you immediately bring back all those good feelings. The laughter, joy, adrenaline or pride all come rushing back. It makes you feel good and people like feeling good 
So when you create memories, share it with others.
Use your blog, newsletter or videos to capture the experience and then share it again so that others can enjoy it. More importantly, those people who you created the memories with will be reminded of how much they enjoyed that time with you (if that isn’t marketing I don’t know what is).
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Ray Antoniolli was a GREAT man.
He will be dearly missed by myself, my family and thousands of others who he managed to touch in his own special way.
But above all, I want to thank him for giving me so many great memories and reminding me of the importance of continually creating new ones.
Thanks Ray!
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Do you have examples of companies or individuals creating great memories?
Share them below in the comments – I know I’d love to hear them
Related posts:
Stu
McLaren helps small business owners get better results from their online
marketing.
Thank you Stu for such a wonderful tribute to your friend Ray. People who live life large & audaciously and then bring out the best in others sometimes feel like ‘plants’ in our lives to remind us what it’s all about.
Your commentary on making memories was ’spot on’ too. As they say, on our death bed the only thing we take with us is our memories.
One thing I have done for all 3 of my children (who now range in age from 27-16) is create photo album-scrapbooks for each of them individually as they grew up (and ones for me along the way too.)Over the years we would review where they’d been, the amazing people they’d met, and the certificates of achievement they had earned for academics, sports or whatever they did. Not only was the sharing time one of bonding, but it was so cool to hear how each one of them had different views of the same events. These albums also etched their experiences in long-term memory, and reinforced their self-belief that they are successful and beloved people. The old pics may be fading by now, but not their memories.
God rest Ray, his family and friends. And thank you Stu!
Great story! Sorry for the loss.
I was reminded of a Wall St. Journal article I read growing up. It’s title was “Legacy vs. Inheritance.” The main point was you’re almost certain to leave some type of inheritance by virtue of living, but what will be your legacy? It’s obvious Ray left a legacy of memories.
I’ve taken that important lesson to heart and have always lived my life as an “event” where there is always “plenty” for others: space, time, food. It’s made my life more enjoyable…and hopefully a few others as well.
Stu,
What a wonderful way to honour your friend and tribe leader by celebrating his life with others but by also sharing his life with those of us who did not have the pleasure of meeting him. Reading about Ray has been a great reminder to enjoy life and make life about having fun and jumping out of your comfort zone!!
Sandra
Thank you for sharing this with me Stu.
I love Ray and I’ve never met him.
He’s the type of person that makes this world go around.
May we all find a little of Ray inside of us!
To Ray!!!
David
Thank you for your comments everyone – much appreciated.
Thank you heaps Stu, a truly beautiful piece of work! I am at a loss for words. You and your family are wonderful! Let the memories live on! Posted by Ray’s #2 son Cory
I will send this story to my children. We all need someone such as he in our lives.
Best Wishes to his family and friends.
Thank you Stu for sharing this story with everyone. Ray would have liked that! He was such a wonderful friend. I have so many wonderful memories of our times together locked deep within my heart. I laugh, I cry when I think of him, but mostly I hang onto the great memories – I will miss him so much …………
What you say about memories is so important – it can be the silliest little thing that people will remember, but the fact that you made their day, or made them laugh is what makes it a memory.
Good stuff. Was telling somebody just this week about making a difference in people’s lives versus chasing money. Don’t understand why people don’t understand such things? Nice story to know guys like Ray really got it.
Love this post! Ray was the master, no doubt. And he also just helped me plan my own funeral.
What a fantastic tribute.
Thanks for sharing this Stu.
Noah
Making Memories : http://tinyurl.com/233whuy
This comment was originally posted on Twitter